Dear Hipster Girl,
We’re going to play a little game. It’s called Guess Which Decade. After polling over 100 Americans, the results were:

1990s – 2010s: 0%
1980s: 1%
1970s: 2%
What the hell are you wearing: 97%

Yup, 97% of people would rather disregard the question and ask, ‘What the hell are you wearing?’ than provide an answer. Statistically, this represents the opinion of over 300.7 million Americans.

I wish I could legally show your pixie haircut, because nothing is sexier than hooking up with a drunk guy when he constantly pulls away to ask, “Are you sure you’re not a dude?”

Love,
The World