Posted on Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Dear The NBA,
After obtaining an in-depth understanding of your labor dispute from a 250 word article on Yahoo! Sports, I have a few suggestions to solve your crisis:
-No more guaranteed contracts. I’m not talking about the players, I’m talking about the terrible food at games. Nachos with real cheese, please.
-Better revenue sharing. Not with the players. With the fans. If the players suck on court or don’t give it 100%, we get a refund.
-Fixing the relationships between the players and cheerleaders. Currently they are not allowed. Now they will be the subject of a 24-hour reality network that generates $$$.
-More white guys. It’s hard for white kids to go to games and have to look up to the coaches and referees.