CRIME BLOTTER:
4PM Saturday: Police were called to IKEA on Burbank Blvd. to respond to a murder call. Upon arriving at the scene, THOMAS CHEN, 38, was found deceased in the ambiguous children’s play area on the second level. Thomas’ son, KEIKEI CHEN, 7, is the prime suspect and remains at-large at this time.

Family members state that the afternoon began innocently enough, with Thomas and Keikei enjoying a casual brunch of meatballs and lingonberries at the IKEA café. It was when Keikei asked for a brand new bedroom set that the trouble began.

Unhappy with his father’s refusals of said bedroom set, Keikei checked himself into the IKEA children’s area and ball pit at 2:07 PM. Thomas and his wife, Shei, continued to shop during this “cooling-down” period.
At 2:15 PM, as Thomas and Shei crossed through the second level, Thomas was assaulted by a stuffed puppy. Eyewitness photos caught Keikei repeatedly beating his father until he was no longer conscious or able to breathe on his own. Afraid for their own lives, bystanders did not intervene, wrongly assuming this was all just a part of Asian culture.

Keikei Chen is considered armed, dangerous, and likely within a ¼ mile radius of IKEA due to his inability to drive and a mild case of plantar fasciitis. All tips are to be phoned to the Los Angeles County Police Department.

6/18.