Posted on Wednesday, June 15, 2011
in Letters to the World
Dear Buffalo (not the city),
Can I ride you? Kidding. I’m kidding. You probably get that all the time. But I bet there’s something you don’t get very often.
If it wasn’t for you, there would be no Indian casinos. How?, you might ask, if you had the capacity for sentient thought.
You single-hoofedly clothed, sheltered and fed the entire Native American population in the United States for millions (maybe billions – how old is earth?) of years. Without you, there would be far fewer native tribes for the Europeans to push off their land, and far fewer concessions made by the U.S. government to these proud people.
Instead you were overhunted by the European settlers, the Native Americans were ripped from their land, and now everyone feels so bad that we were basically like, “Fine. You can have your land back and there are no laws. Except alcohol. You can’t have that, but it’s the only law, so chill.”
And what did the Native Americans do? Casinos.