Dear Gays,
You know that stereotype that gay men are super into musicals, and know all their words and love Judy Garland? Well it’s sorta kinda maybe… true.

I’m not saying I don’t like it, just that, well maybe these three can tone it down a bit, yeah? Like a gay intervention?

“Tad, Marco, Ang, we brought you to this country saloon to force you to stop recreating DreamGirls.” And then one of them, probably Tad, would break down and say a line from an early Barbara Streisand movie, BUT nobody would know and everyone would say, “Wow, I never thought of it that way, Tad.” And then Marco and Ang would look up, mascara streaming down their faces, “And. I. am. telllllllllin youuuuuuuuuu-” And everyone would be like, “Okay, assholes. We’re not leaving this bar until all three of you have line-danced to Garth Brooks.”

And they’ll be resistant, of course they will, but this has gone on long enough.

Love,
Will