Dear Men,
I bet you did not imagine when you were building the Hoover Dam that there would be a bridge for tourists to gaze out upon your handiwork. That it would become a target for terrorists. That you were enabling the San Fernando Valley, and with it generations of mentally abbreviated “Valley Girls.”

The original migrant laborers, you moved from factory towns all over the U.S. in search of a better life. You wanted to put porridge on your family’s table. Did you find what you were searching for? I don’t care. Because I am living in the future and you are probably so in awe of the things I can do and how smart we are to answer these questions.

Here’s to you. All of you were noble men. Except the Irishmen. The Irish scourge was in full swing and those damn Micks were taking all your jobs. For instance, my great-great grandfather, William Monaghan.

Love,
Will