Dear Taxis,
When you tell me to make something  my “last call,” it sounds like I’m either about to go to jail or die. Also, I’ve seen the way kids these days operate, and no call from the bar is their last call. They are non stop sexting and booty-calling until their eyes force shut and they fall into an alcohol-induced slumber.

Now let’s discuss your business proposition. You are telling me that I am too stupid to figure out how to find a taxi for free, and I should pay you $1.29 to $1.79 for the service? That you are just a benevolent organization stopping people from drunk driving, yet charging $1.79 for something we can do for free?

Thanks but no thanks. I’m sticking with the advice on the sticker. Underground music WILL save the world.

Love,
Will