Posted on Saturday, July 2, 2011
in Letters to the World
How To Be A Man
Whether you are one already or not, everyone could use a refresher on the finer points of carrying a Y-chromosome.
Transportation: A real man has transportation. That transportation includes a trunk. Think of the trunk as your man cave on wheels.
(Bonus Points: Tailgate, 4×4, Calvin and Hobbes Sticker)
Drink: Liquor. But only the following: Bourbon, Whisky, Scotch
Eats: Beef Jerky. Really any jerky will do, but beef tends to do a better job amping up the testosterone and scaring girls away… before they come back to procreate.
Activities: Something that gets you moving but still allows you to drink your bourbon and eat your jerky. Try bowling. Only men bowl.
Other Advice: A real man showers twice a week, stains his underarms with sweat and hates Al-Qaeda.
That’s it – can you feel the testosterone coursing through your veins ? I can.